Is this a Joke?

~Yesterday was the strangest day. A weird chain of events would make a believer out of me that Lupus Fog is not a term to be thrown around lightly. It is real and it exists. At least for me it does. The stage was set here where I live…like a scene from a movie. It was the first morning of the season with heavy fog. A very thick coat of its dangerous beauty could be seen in all directions. It was cold and damp. My body was already aching right down to the bones knowing the rain was going to torture me all day. My joints and I have become a weather report of sorts. I wasn’t going to be out long in this though. I only had to go a few blocks and then I was coming right back. I was still in my pajamas and slippers to give an idea of how fast this trip was supposed to be. 

~Round trip would take three minutes top. A quick visit to a neighbors. I grabbed my keys and my Pom and I am out the door. I successfully do what needed to be done and head back home. When I get to my front door, I stare at my keys and panic. I have locked myself out of the house. It is very early. I was thinking I was going home and going back to bed. The only ones around and up are my next door neighbors. I am thankful for old fashioned loving people right now. While I am explaining to them what happened, I realize then that I didn’t lock myself out. My house key is still on my key ring. Wow, I feel like I am totally losing it now. Has the actual mysterious looking fog gotten into my head somehow? Am I on candid camera?

~I just come clean right away. I tell my dear neighbor I think my house key is on the ring. He goes to the house and lets me in. I am embarrassed? Not really…not anymore.  I know now it comes with the Lupus territory. But, this is also why I do not commit to things before noon. I know I am not myself. Seriously, not myself. I think for me the Lupus Fog is a combination of sleep deprivation, chronic pain, medications, and the disease itself messing with the brainwaves. I was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm about five years ago. My Mom had one and they can be hereditary. At least, that is what the doctors told us and proved to be right in our case. With all these things working against me, it’s no wonder I have issues with a normal day. 

~I used to be very hard on myself when things like this would happen. Now I have learned to make adjustments to my life. I have not laughed yet at this particular instance but I can see how laughter could lighten the moment and lift the fog. My Mom and I used to laugh at ourselves all the time. When you have someone to laugh with, it helps. If I was a comedian, the stories I could use as jokes! But, the stories can only be funny, once I get over the sting of the reality that causes the humor. I leave with this bittersweet hysterical memory of the last shopping trip my Mom and I went on before she died. 

~It started when she reached for this purse she thought I had to have. In the process, the whole display fell and came crashing to the floor. We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. She had lost her balance and I had lost mine trying to catch her. I know the store didn’t think it was funny but that was our reality. Gimp one and gimp two trying to shop that day. We bought the purse, the one pictured above. I had forgotten about that gorgeous bag along with the laughs until the other day when someone had put a like on a post I had put in a lupus community support group. I had posted it three and a half years ago when my Mom died. It was strange to see it pop up on the timeline now. Just goes to show that the most painful embarrassing moments can turn into the  most funny heartwarming memories of a lifetime. #LupusMariposa® #LaughBestMed #LupusFog #EQPDMom #CarmonaSiempre #TimeLineMemories