Shelf Life
~~~I call it my “Shelf Life.” It is the amount of time in a day I have to actively contribute to it. With Lupus and Fibro, I have no clue what my Shelf Life is from day to day. I just have to wait until the morning and see how I am feeling. It is unpredictable. It is hard to plan around. My Shelf Life is similar to the Spoon Theory. For me, I like Shelf Life better. I was at a function and it was getting late for me. I stood up and said “my Shelf Life was about to expire.” Everyone laughed. Everyone understood me. I did not have to launch into a big explanation about how many spoons I used or how many I had left. It became easier for others without Lupus or Fibro to swallow than the spoons. It was funny and no one felt sorry for me. I did not feel awkward for leaving. It was perfect. My “Shelf Life.”
~~~I learned a few lasting lessons over time from my Shelf Life. The first was there will be days when I have NO Shelf Life at all. If anyone out there can relate then you know these days are the hardest to deal with. They tax our emotional state as well as our bodies. These are the days of intense flares, debilitating fatigue, and horrific pain. On top of that, I would feel very guilty if I could not make it to something I was invited to or if I could not get something done around the house. The biggest message I had to get through my head was that it was OK to have these days. My Mom would say “Life is simple. If you are hungry, eat. If you are tired, rest.” So, I would rest. Letting guilt subside is the best thing we can do. Only then can we truly let our bodies relax and let it get the restoration it needs to recover.
~~~The second thing is dealing with the unpredictability of it all. Lupus is a tricky thief. I can think my Shelf Life for the day is an hour or so to get something done but then my shower will zap away all my energy. I will wash & condition my hair, wash & moisturize my face, brush my teeth, exfoliate & lotion my feet, etc. But, now that hour I thought I had is gone. The good energy was used up. I think to myself “Well, at least I have clean pajamas on” 😊 What else can I do? Retraining my brain to turn negatives into positives made me realize that I still accomplished something. Even if it was only the shower. I learned to roll with the cruel jokester that Lupus is because in the end I will have the last laugh anyway!
~~~I saved the best for last. I am on top of the world when my Shelf Life is having a good day. When it is actually in sync with a special event or I just want to go out and have fun. I cherish every single second of every single moment of those hours on those days. I am smiling from ear to ear. I celebrate life. The gift of a good day is beyond the imaginable and I do not take it for granted. I take lots of pictures. I have a scrapbook that is titled “I have Lupus but Lupus does not have me.” It is filled with wonderful memories to look back on. It is nice sometimes to pull the scrapbook out and flip through knowing that there will eventually be more celebrations to come.
~~~So no matter what your Shelf Life gives you never feel you are a failure. Whatever you do today let it be enough. If your body needs to rest do not feel guilty. If we do not take care of ourselves first, how can we take care of anyone or anything else? It is important not to let the unpredictability, as frustrating as it is, cause us to break down. It is OK for us to change our plans according to our needs. Our health comes first. And although far and few between, on those good days, celebrate that Shelf Life. Make the most of it. Have fun and smile 😊 #LupusMariposa® #ShelfLife #RollWithIt #GoodBadInBetween #WeGotThis🦋🌻💗😊
