Careful Comparing
~~~~Even the optimist can have a bad few days or longer. That has been me lately. I know, right??? Not me, not her! I have been doing a lot of crying with this overwhelming sadness. I couldn’t figure out why. I’m used to pain. I know struggle. These things I have made peace with. This is my life now and has been for a decade. With my new acceptance and my a-ha moment on the beach, what is eating at my soul? What is hurting my heart?
~~~~I have been praying for clarification from God. Begging for another a-ha moment. Sitting in the dark hugging myself, imaging it’s my Mother’s and my Sister’s arms around me. I’ve been mediating, trying to get outside to feel the air, trying not to isolate myself. Let me say what everyone (I hope) already knows. God. Never. Fails. I got my answer.
~~~~In the mail, I started receiving coupons and free gifts because it is my “birthday month.” The actual day of my birth is not until the 24th. I hadn’t given it much thought until I was forced to with all the junk mail. Then, I started to do something dangerous. I began comparing what I did this birthday year to last birthday year. Not a good idea.
~~~~While self-comparsion can and should be used in a positive way, I fell into a trap of noting all the things I wasn’t able to do this past birthday year. I realized that by reflecting on myself this way just brought boughts of anxiety and depression. I had to put myself in check.
~~~~I switched it around. Once again, reminding myself to have another birthday is a blessing not a curse. To have another year means more time to celebrate life, more time with my family, more time with all of you. And, who knows what wonderful moments await me. Instead of being sad I’m going to be a year older, I need to be very thankful!
~~~~So, “Happy Birthday Month” to me. Come what may. With my attitude properly adjusted, I’m going to embrace it all. The good, bad, happy, and sad. With the Lord as my guide and my family and friends by my side, I am one lucky girl. All the glory to God for once again helping me with my pain, for reminding me that wisdom is needed when any comparisions are done~especially on yourself!
~~~~Proverbs 8:10 & 11 “Receive My Instruction, And Not Silver, And Knowledge Rather Than Gold; For Wisdom Is Better Than Rubies, And All Things One May Desire Cannot Be Compared To Her”
#LupusMariposa® #BlessedToBe #HappyBdayLibras 💜😊😙🎂🍰🎂
