Toxicity

“Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty. It’s an act of self-care.” UA

~~Auto-immune diseases and invisible illnesses feed off of stress. Stress is the number one cause of flare-ups. But, stress is everywhere and how to avoid it? I would like to know. While all stress would be impossible to ignore, the biggest trigger I realized the hard way was some of the people around me. Through the years, I painfully learned some valuable lessons on setting boundaries. I still pray for them everyday and care for them deeply. But, for my sanity and for my health, I had to let them go for awhile. I could no longer pretend that everything was ok or compromise God’s work in me by letting these relationships chisel away at my self-esteem. 

~~Letting go was not easy for me. In fact, it broke my heart at first. I did cry in the beginning knowing there was just no other way. God was, in fact, telling me that this was needed. A step back was called for. I was not doing His will anymore. I was focusing on pleasing others before Him because I didn’t want to lose them. I would spend all of my good shelf life on these toxic people and even push myself past my brink. I was hurting so badly. My joints were on fire. I would be beyond exhausted. But, I did not complain. They didn’t understand Lupus or rather my Lupus. I would explain that everyone is different. No two people with Lupus are the same. In time, what I feared started to happen. The judgement. 

~~My Lupus couldn’t be that bad. If I was smiling on social media then I must be doing okay. I was never one to whine on social media, to put all my problems out there. Once in awhile, I will call on my prayer warriors to pray for a certain situation. I believe in the power of prayer and we are there for each other in our time of need. Other than that, I like to be positive and spread joy, love, and laughter. Comparing or judging one another on social media should never be done. Everyone is going through their own unseen battles or circumstances. It causes stress when someone you love is stalking you instead of being there for you. I realized that if someone, no matter who it is, steals the joy God is given you on a regular basis, then that relationship need reevaluating. 

~~The good news is that nothing on this earth lasts forever. As long as we continue to pray for our loved ones, God is still working in their lives and ours. Relationships can be mended on God’s time. Not ours though, that is the key. We cannot force it. That is where the undue stress comes in. Forces something that is no longer productive during that season in our lives. It is ok to temporarily let it go. That old saying “if it comes back to us, then it was meant to be.” God does not build relationships around us to hurt us. They are meant to encourage us. If a person becomes toxic to your mental, physical, or spiritual health, often the best decision is to put space between you. God’s greatest desire is to set us free.

~~The key to making the distance work is to avoid indulging in anger or bitterness. Don’t respond in gossiping or spreading rumors no matter how much they hurt us. From my experience, once I stood up for myself and walked away, their anger became much worse. This is when I leaned on God even more. I worked even harder to build my relationship with God to learn to forgive them, to pray even harder for them, to love them entirely. The Lord knows what is best for me, My Lupus, my stress levels, and for my loved ones that I have had to let go of for now. As I continue to pray for my loved ones, I do believe God is working miracles in their lives. Nothing is impossible for the Almighty. #LupusMariposa®#RemoveToxicity #GodlyLoveIsSelfLove #SelfPreservation