Unclutter Your Heart
“Clutter is not just the stuff on the floor. It’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.”~Peter Walsh
~As I scroll through the internet and see all the New Year posts about what is being left behind in 2019, I can’t help but think to myself, “don’t I go through this every year?” This year will be better. This year is going to be my year. This year, I am going to be a Lupus superwoman. I can be a machine and pump out all my wanted achievements. I can be a hard stone and no longer let people hurt me. I can be the doer of all things positive and no longer let worry or stress rob my joy. But, then 2020 hit me like a brick wall.
~I didn’t even have a chance to revel in the euphoria of a New Year before it became painfully clear to me that my life was about to change. My 2020 is going to require more mental and emotional strength than I can muster up at times. I was hoping for signs of a less demanding year. One that wouldn’t take such a toll. I mean, why not? I’m due for some easiness. Some no brainer days, where I can just coast by and chill. While this year may have many of those moments, it is clear that my resolve will be tested in the meantime. Ultimately, so will my Lupus.
~I know the Lord has been working on me though because instead of crying, I started praying. Praying for a plan. My year has just begun and I still need to get through the remaining 11 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days without having a major meltdown. What I do in this moment would determine how the new stress of this situation would play out for the rest of the year and possibly the rest of my life. Little by little, bit by bit, I know God and I can work this out. I don’t have any answers yet. It’s going to be one of those processes that will take patience and time. This situation didn’t happen overnight and it wouldn’t take overnight to fix.
~I have a tiny bedroom in my house that I turned into a closet. I paid for a designer to come in and build this masterpiece. It has many shelves and compartments. It has places to hang all my clothes by height. I have drawers for the little stuff, specific spaces for my shoes and bags. It is a woman’s dream. After my Mom died, I lost interest in it’s upkeep. I started throwing everything in there with no regard to where it landed. After years of doing this, my once beautifully functioning closet now looks like a landfill. It is so cluttered with crap that it can no longer serve its original purpose.
~I recently decided that I wanted to reclaim the usefulness of this space. I wanted my closet back. The huge mess I created was overwhelming. What I had accumulated over the years could not be cleaned up in a few days. I needed help. I found someone willing to take this project on with me. We started a couple of months ago, one or two days a week, for a few hours at a time. In the beginning, I couldn’t see the clearing. But, by working together on a continual basis, we made major progress. I could see this closet of mine coming back to the lovely room I remembered. It just needed to be tended to and taken care of.
~It is the same with my Lupus life. God has a purpose for me. There is no amount of debris that cannot be cleared when my spirit is aligned with the Holy One. My new problems will not be solved right away. They are going to be painstakingly slow and deliberate because the lessons in them will need to be learned. My heart will compartmentalize. Each chamber will be filled with God’s love and grace during the process. I’m being tended to. I am being taken apart carefully so that I can be put back together meaningfully. Just like my closet, I will be better than ever. The foundation is there. It just needs to be uncluttered.
#LupusMariposa #UnclutterYourLife #UnclutterYourHeart #LupusButterfly
