Value

“She is of great value because God loves her. Not because of what she does but for who she is as His beloved daughter. The Lord loved her before she had a chance to accomplish or fail at anything.”

~Yesterday I mentioned that one can love themselves without permission or worry from others. I think it is important to say that that is because God loved us first. This love allows us to let go of preconceived notions that we must earn love from others. Love is a gift. Not an obligation. In His love, there is freedom in letting go of what others think. Romans 14:12,13 assures that we are not responsible for the opinions of others. “So each of us shall give account of himself/herself to God.” Here’s my favorite part. “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s/sister’s way.” Imagine if there was less jealousy and hatred and more unity and love.

~Seriously, who are we to judge another? We are not doing God’s will for ourselves when we do that. In fact, God is completely out of that equation. It has now become an issue of what is projected on another person of one’s objectification. How one behaves tends to be a direct reflection of their own insecurities. The actions in question may not always be obvious in their intentions. Maybe it is a passive aggressive act or acts that are hard to see in others or yourself. Since those are not as clearly identified it can be hard to rectify. The trouble comes in when the enabling starts. Enabling codependency on something or someone is a downward spiral. I speak from personal experience with the disclaimer that my experience is not going to be the same as others.

~I know that I cannot rescue a person from repetitiveness of harmful behavior to others or to themselves. No one could for me. Only God could. I tried many times through many years in many circumstances. I thought if I did this or that it would make a difference in their world and the person on the receiving side of my actions would be miraculously happy. They would care for me how I needed or at least accept me for who I am. Nothing I could do or say would ever be enough even if I am piloting the best rescue chopper. That is because I needed to rescue myself first. I needed to learn my own schematics. What makes me vulnerable? What makes me susceptible to crashing and burning? Performing regular maintenance on myself to be successfully prepared for instability or future problems.

~Some good advice I received for right now was to take the focus off of whatever it is that is causing harm to my personal positive growth. How can someone learn for themselves the brunt of their behavior towards others if we are to make excuses for them? To empower another is to let them learn from their own mistakes. Only then can God get in there and turn misery into happiness. He can transform the enabler or enabled. We can try but our tactics will be in vain. Change won’t happen unless the cycle of madness stops and one takes accountability for themselves. #LupusMariposa